Alonzo's Night Out
by HumanGuineapig
Summary: Alonzo spies a familiar Queen trying to sneak from the yard, and decides to follow her. In order to protect her, he goes along with her to a heist and gets more than he bargains for. By the end of the night, he's going to be left sore, with his pride hurt...and he's gonna murder Munkus. Done as part of a trade on DA.


I don't own Cats...boooo

Lonz/Rumps and a slight Mungo/Munkus if you squint :P

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Alonzo yawned as he stretched out on the tyre, the sun warming his back.

"Morning, Lonz," Alonzo lazily turned onto his back, looking at the strong silver Tabby standing above him.

"Heya, Munku," Alonzo yawned, stretching his limbs out.

"How are you this morning?"

"Alright…you?"

"Tired," Munkustrap answered, settling down beside his friend. Alonzo looked at him, eyebrow raised.

"What Queen has kept you up the last few weeks?" Alonzo asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Munkustrap blushed deeply.

"Keep it in your pants, Lonz,"

"Don't wear pants, Munku…cat, remember?" Alonzo laughed. Munkustrap gave a small growl, but his blush deepened.

"C'mon, Munku…I know you've been seeing someone, these last few nights especially, I've seen you dozing on the tyre the last few mornings,"

"It's…uh…nothing," Munkustrap stammered.

"Liar," Alonzo sang. Munkustrap nipped his ear.

"Ow, hey!"

"And I've been up the last few nights because Mungo's been sick,"

"Annnd, why would that concern you?"

"Because I'd be doing rounds and I'd hear him throwing up," Munkustrap answered quickly, too quickly. Alonzo raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, Munk," Alonzo stage whispered.

"Hey, Lonz,"

"What?"

"Get your furry tail on patrol," Munkustrap grumbled at him, closing his blue eyes.

"Now that's just mean," Munkustrap didn't respond. "Don't act as though you're asleep, I know you're not!" Munkustrap stayed still for a moment longer before shoving Alonzo off the tyre.

"Fine!" Alonzo huffed before stalking off indignantly, hearing Munkustrap's chuckle following him.  
Alonzo wandered around the yard, bored, as he looked around. He heard a small rustle and his ears flicked before he quickly traced it. He found the sly Rumpleteazer sneaking towards the yard entrance. Alonzo gave a smirk before darting through his short cuts.  
Rumpleteazer looked behind her, making sure she hadn't been spotted or followed. She gave a sigh of relief when she found herself alone. She looked back to the front and gave a loud yelp, leaping into the air in shock as she found Alonzo sitting directly in front of her.

"Morning, Teazer," Alonzo said cheerfully, smirking. Teazer blinked, breathing heavily as she tried to regain her breath.

"L-Lonz, what are you doin' 'ere?" Teazer panted.

"Well, I was on patrols…and I happened to hear you trying to sneak out, quite unsuccessfully really," Alonzo smirked. Teazer scowled.

"So, where are you off to…without your brother?" Alonzo asked.

"Mungo's sick…and Munku is tendin' to 'im," Rumpleteazer answered.

"Munku?"

"Yeah," Teazer shrugged before walking past Alonzo.

"Hey, hey, hey, where are you going?!" Alonzo asked, quickly heading after her as she walked down the streets.

"Just cause Mungo is sick, don't mean I'm not gonna put stealin' off,"

"Why not?"

"We 'ave…" Teazer broke off suddenly, knowing she almost gave too much away.

"Teaze,"

"It's nuffin," She answered before quickening her pace. Alonzo followed her.

"Why are ya followin' me?"

"I'm not leaving you alone,"

"Fine…come along and steal with me then," Teazer grinned. Alonzo blinked, pausing for a moment before racing back to the orange calico.

"Sooo, why is Munkus looking after your brother when Jenny is around?"

"The kittens all have the flu…Jenny and Jelly 'ave their paws full and since Munku is next in knowledge of medical skills," Teazer shrugged. Alonzo blinked.  
That sounded too smart for Rumpleteazer to say.

Teazer glanced at him and smiled.

"I ain't as dim as I sound," She laughed. Alonzo smirked.

"Alright then," He answered.

"Ahh, 'ere we are," Rumpleteazer grinned, looking at a large house in front of them.

"Teaze…" Alonzo sighed. "This isn't safe,"

"Stop being such a sook and c'mon," Teazer teased before darting up the path. Alonzo's eyes widened.

"Teazer!" He hissed, chasing after her. He caught up to her as she reached the door.

"I'm a Protector, Teazer, I can't let you get hurt!" He growled at her. Teazer raised an eyebrow.

"Well, if ya goin' to protect me, guess you're comin' along," She giggled before darting through an open window.

"Oh Bast damn it!" Alonzo hissed before leaping in after Rumpleteazer. Alonzo looked around the darkened house, growling under his breath.

"Teazer!" He hissed, honey eyes darting around trying to find the calico thief.

"Over 'ere ya fool," Alonzo looked up at the shelf above the fireplace. He quickly darted up to join her as Teazer sifted through some shiny baubles.

"Oooh," She cooed as she picked up a pair of shiny blue earrings before depositing it into her bag. Alonzo rolled his eyes and padded after her as she headed into the kitchen. Alonzo leapt up on top of the microwave and watched as Rumpleteazer snooped around, grabbing spoons, forks and the occasional piece of jewellery that had been taken off and placed on the window sill. Alonzo glanced around the kitchen, it was clean, with a few pieces here and there. Alonzo looked at a bowl of flour left on the kitchen bench as Rumpleteazer continued to snoop around. His ears twitched as he heard footsteps.

"Teazer!" He hissed. Teazer looked at him, seeming unaware, before going back to what she was doing.

"Teazer!" He leapt across the counter, trying to push Teazer into a hiding place.  
Instead she fell into the bowl of flour.

"Wha' da 'ell?!" She yelled as she leapt out of the bowl, her fur almost as white as Victoria's. Alonzo quickly pointed to the doorway before hiding.  
The light in the kitchen switched on and Teazer froze, still standing in plain sight on the counter.

"Lilly?" Teazer blinked as the female human came towards her.

"Oh, Lilly, you've come home, we thought you were gone forever!" The human smiled, looking at the stunned Rumpleteazer. Alonzo gave a small snort at the stunned look on Rumpleteazer's face. The human went to grab Rumpleteazer but she quickly darted off, leaving a trail of flour after her.

"What…the…?" The human muttered. The human managed to snag Teazer as she tried to climb out the window. The human brushed the flour off of Rumpleteazer, revealing her bright calico fur.

"You…stray!" The human spluttered angrily. Alonzo leapt from his hiding place, scratching the human's hands and making her drop Teazer.

"Run, Teaze, run!" Alonzo yelled, swiping at the human again.

"Not without my bag!" She cried, darting back and grabbing the sock in her mouth.

"Diesel!" The human hollered. Alonzo heard a growl behind him and turned, going pale, as he came face to face with a Doberman pollicle.

"Crap," He whispered, before darting over towards the window.

"Teazer, move your tail now!" Alonzo yelled. Teazer ran past him, leaping through the window. Alonzo scrambled up. He caterwauled in pain as the Doberman managed to bite him…right on the butt. Alonzo kicked out and the Doberman let go as the foot connected with his nose. Alonzo ran through the garden and out the gate, following the brightly coloured calico.

"Teazer, you are so dead!" Alonzo hollered as he chased her down the streets. He could hear the Doberman howling as he chased after them. Alonzo ran down into an alley and blinked as he saw Teazer was nowhere to be found. Alonzo turned as he heard a growling, coming ever closer. A paw grabbed Alonzo's arm and yanked him into a hole in the brick wall.

"Ya idiot, if ya stood there, he'd 'ave killed ya!" Teazer hissed at him.

"You're the one who started this!" Alonzo growled.

"I didn't ask ya to come along!"

"You forced me to!" Alonzo hissed. "And now…"

"And now…what?" Teazer asked curiously.

"That stupid Pollicle got me!"

"Really, where?!" Teazer asked worriedly. Alonzo blushed slightly, giving an incoherent murmur.

"Didn't catch that," Alonzo couldn't bring himself to say it, so he just turned and showed her where he got bitten. Teazer gave a howl of laughter and rolled around on the floor, laughing hard.

"'E bit ya ass!" Teazer giggled loudly. "Oh that is priceless!"

"Shut up," Alonzo muttered, sitting down, arms folded across his chest. Teazer snorted, paw clamped over her mouth as she tried to stifle her giggling.

"How did I end up stuck here?" Alonzo grumbled to himself. Teazer grinned at him.

"Aww c'mon, didn't ya feel that rush?" She giggled. Alonzo raised an eyebrow.

"Rush?"

"You enjoyed it!"

"Did not, that was horrid,"

"That was actually a good 'eist," She giggled. Alonzo rolled his eyes, before settling back. He could still hear the Pollicle snorting and snuffling around outside in the alley.

"How do you and Mungo do this all the time?" He questioned. Teazer nodded as she examined the contents of her heist.

"It's fun," She answered.

"Why did you come out without Mungo?"

"Cause we 'ave a deadline to meet,"

"Deadline for who?" Teazer stiffened.

"It's nuffin,"

"Teaze,"

"Don't stick that black nose of yours into somewhere it don't belong…ya could be hurt," Teazer told him, her chocolate brown eyes meeting his honey eyes. Alonzo blinked.

"Teazer, what trouble are you in?"

"None whatsoever," She answered.

"Teaze…"

"Shut up or you're goin' to 'ave another bite to join the one on your ass," Alonzo blinked, shocked.

"So, uh…what's wrong with Mungo?"

"Just a flu or somethin'" She answered.

"I still can't believe Munkus is looking after him," Alonzo grinned. "You don't think anything is going on between them do you?"

"Between Mungo and Munku?" Teazer asked, her eyes wide but had a mischievous glint to them.

"Hmm…I don't they're a match, Mungo doesn't seem like Munkus's type,"

"What's wrong with my brotha?!" Teazer demanded.

"I'm not saying something is wrong with Mungo, but I'm saying can you imagine those two together?" Alonzo laughed. "The somewhat uptight Protector and your mischievous and sly brother," Teazer laughed at that.

"They would make a weird pair," She giggled. Alonzo grinned before leaning back.

"Ey…I think the Pollicle is gone," Teazer said. Alonzo nodded and they both snuck out of the hiding place, heading back towards the yard.  
Alonzo sighed in relief when they reached the yard gates.

"Well…we're home," Alonzo said. Teazer smiled, nuzzling him softly. Alonzo blinked in surprise.

"That was fun…we should do that again sometime," Teazer said softly, smiling before darting off with her loot. Alonzo stared after her, shocked. She turned and looked back at him.

"Oh, you should get that bite on ya ass checked out before da othas notice!" She called out, laughing loudly. Alonzo shook his head, sighing.

"You are so gonna pay for this Munk," Alonzo muttered before going to seek out his silver friend for a tussle.

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I actually did this a while ago…have no idea why I didn't upload it to here.

Anyway, this is part of a trade I did on DA with Terpsichorian-Powers…

Please read and review!

Luv HGP!


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